And now for something completely different…

While Iona Portal is a SciFi Suspense Thriller, those who follow me on twitter know I also enjoy giving my readers a good laugh.  Yesterday a friend named John turned 60 and sent this out as his announcement.  It was so funny, I asked his permission to share it here…


Today I turned 60!  That means I remember when gas was 25 cents a gallon.

I know what it means to “wind your watch.”

I actually still have a watch and I still use my cell phone to make calls.

My hip is now more accurate at predicting the weather than the Channel 8 weather man.

Last summer I went to my high school reunion and realized there was no one there but old people.

I have more hair in my ears now than on my head and sometimes I am not sure whether I have a clear conscience or I just don’t remember.

I sat down at the breakfast table this morning and heard that old familiar snap, crackle, pop but I wasn’t having cereal.

I went in the bathroom and flexed my muscles in front of the mirror and found that my biceps had gone to live with my triceps.

Had a pleasant surprise, though, when I walked in my closet I found some clothes that had actually come back into style.

Last week I walked into one of those quaint little antique shops and saw some old-fashioned kitchen implements and realized that I used to use most of them.

Later I got on an elevator and heard songs that my parents had forbid me to listen to …but they were somehow different.

Someone called me last week at 9:00pm and asked, “Did I wake you?”

Today the fact that I have been losing brain cells since the day I was born has suddenly become a big concern to me as well as the thought that I would now probably be one of the first ones thrown out of the lifeboat.

But at least there’s not much left for me to have to learn the hard way.

All in all I had a great day and a great party with my family even though my kids had to disable the fire alarms in order to light the candles on my birthday cake, and my happy thought for this special day was that I had three more years before I had to get another colonoscopy.

lol  John D.  Age 60

Happy Birthday, John!!!  -RDM

Nook version of Iona Portal coming soon!

I can’t remember the last time I did a blog post.  It’s been an unusually busy season… I’ve been struggling to get over jet lag from the Thailand trip and getting ready to speak at a major conference this weekend.  On top of that I’m trying to get the Nook version of Iona Portal ready for publication.

I’m doing the Nook version through Smashwords, which will also make versions available for all the other e-book platforms.  It’s quite an experience.  The Smashwords instructions are very detailed, and more than a little intimidating!

One of the first steps to publish on Smashwords is to strip away ALL formatting!!!  How’s that for frightening?  Centering.  Bold text for chapter titles.  Even italics!  It’s all gone!  Now, in addition to everything else, I need to go back through the whole book, line-by-line, and add these things back into the text.

I do understand why it’s necessary (and I’m sure the results will be worth it), but it’s a LOT of work!  I’ll be attending a seminar the first three days of next week, and everyone will be sitting with laptops open during the sessions.  Hopefully I’ll be able to work on Iona Portal formatting during some  of the less interesting speakers.  (Shhh… don’t tell anyone!)

My goal is to have the Nook version published by the end of next week.